License for Disaster
by dropout-ninja
Summary: With Chi-Chi once again a single mother and with another child on the way, Piccolo tries to fulfill one of her orders from years ago.


Dragon Ball Z and its characters do not belong to me. All rights go to their respective owners.

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Warnings: One minor swear word and spoilers for the end of the Cell Saga.

It's been a few years since I watched the whole show so I apologize for any mistakes and OOC dialogue I may have made.

* * *

Gohan was happy with every visit payed by the Namek. After what had happened with Cell, with his father, the boy wasn't happy all that often. But his heart always lifted when he sensed the familiar presence approach the house. Piccolo joined them as often as he had while training for the androids and it was a relief to the boy. The Namek wasn't training him any longer so there wasn't a reason for his visits to continue. At least, that's what Piccolo would have thought before. The fact that he didn't seem to now touched Gohan more than words.

Piccolo joined him for meals he didn't take part in, watched him do his studies, went to the lake with him while the half-Saiyan fished. In the vast amounts of lonely free time they had without a three year countdown to doom and Son Goku's lively presence, Piccolo discovered he was far behind Gohan's educational ability. Spending his childhood alone in the woods had not offered much in the way of schooling. The Namek wouldn't admit it out loud, but he enjoyed watching Gohan do his books and picking up what he could from the everyday activity.

He also just happened to be with Gohan the day Chi-Chi dropped news on the young teen.

"A-a what?" Piccolo had asked, eyes wide.

"A baby," Chi-Chi repeated brusquely, "So I can't be kept as busy worrying over if Gohan is doing his work, or making full meals, or shopping all the time. I expect you both to be pulling your weight."

She delivered the words in her usual brassy tone, but the Namek's hearing allowed him to catch her whispered, "Not that anyone ever does try to lighten my load-" as she disappeared into the kitchen. It was both fair and unfair. She did have her son under a ridiculous amount of schooling (though the scholar in the making enjoyed it all), coerced many of earth's strongest warriors into doing favors for her, and more. Piccolo had already caught himself stuck doing chores for her on one occasion before he was able to make his escape. On the other hand, most of the time there was an escape involved. Son Goku would disappear from her house and company only to return and eat her meals, Gohan prioritized spending time with his father and Piccolo, and the occasional fish brought in did not remove the fact that the human woman did almost 100% of the work in the Son Household.

Thinking about her order to alleviate her worry during her pregnancy, Piccolo remembered another order she had once given out. Another order that he and Goku had fought against and returned without fulfilling.

Gohan wasn't sure what the reason was behind what he had just seen. If Piccolo wanted that ugly yellow postboy shirt of father's, didn't he realize he could ask instead of trying to smuggle it out with his cape? Better yet, why exactly did the warrior want it? The boy was at a loss. After staring in the direction of the dark doorway, he shrugged and returned to his calculus textbook.

The driving institute was as completely awful as he had remembered. The stupid ugly human clothes were as completely awful as he remembered. Piccolo ground his fanged teeth together, looking over the crowds of bustling people and the horrible little aircars.

And the horrible instructor, who was as awful as he remembered. The odds that he end up with the crazy redhead again had to be extremely low, but fate was, as always, against him.

"Whyever are you back again?" Cynthia asked, her attitude peaceful. The Namekian remembered exactly how long that attitude lasted when she actually got behind the wheel. If not for being drawing into a competition with Goku, he probably could have passed the last tests and that was with ignoring everything the raging maniac had "demonstrated" for him.

"I thought all four of us agreed with your ability to fly, what do you need to drive for?"

"I'm just obeying a directive I was given," Piccolo ground out.

"Oh?" the redhead cocked her head, still smiling. "I suppose if you must then," and she directed him to the number eight practice car.

However Goku managed to confuse himself over driving, Piccolo didn't know. The man may have only been second in strength to Gohan, but he was impressively dense at times. At others, mainly in fighting, the kind Saiyan could show uncanny intelligence. Outside those battles...Well, the confusion over an accelerator and a brake made little sense to the Namek.

It had been at least a year since his last attempt at the institute, but he still remembered what little of driving he had picked up. After seeing what had happened last time when he had began competing (racing) with Goku and was given approval by Cynthia, he made sure to let off on the accelerator every time she said anything similar to, "Now you are getting the hang of it Piccolo-san!" He found her approval a red flag in any situation.

By noon, Piccolo drove the orange vehicle back into the parking lot of the institute. When he was given the green light to leave for the day, the warrior flew away swiftly and found a waterfall to meditate under. So he did after the next lesson. And the next.

The institute had him move through different instructors, which was a welcome relief as most were less...chatty, he supposed, than Cynthia. And seemed to be safer drivers to teach. Not that it stopped the redhead from chatting when he would arrive.

"Do you always wear those same clothes?" she asked once, one eye peeking open to look over him critically. Since Piccolo didn't really have the sort of clothing that humans in the city wore, he had stolen the same ones Chi-Chi had made him use the year prior when he had first been forced to try and get a license. They were supposed to make him look less conspicuous in theory. Since he was tall, green, had antenna and looked like Demon King Piccolo, so at least the yellow shirt and gokuu baseball cap would distract from that image a bit. The Namek didn't deign the woman with an answer.

When his time with the institute was finished, Piccolo flew to the wilderness with a license in his small list of belongings. He had finished the order Chi-Chi had given him before the androids had come. Which in turn was listening to her more recent command. She couldn't pick on him for not pulling any weight or being a bad example on Gohan when he had gone and gotten the useless license, could she?

Of course, Piccolo realized that not only was such a license useless to him since he could fly, but since the Son family didn't own a car in the first place. Still, he had gone to all this work to lighten Chi-Chi's load while she was...pregnant (that was the word she had used, he was sure) and he wasn't about to give up now.

Piccolo had discovered how long the strange pre-birthing process was supposed to take from Gohan. He had returned the clothes one evening as secretly as he took them and still kept a hold of license he had no reason to use. The months before the baby was due turned into just weeks and then days. Chi-Chi seemed to be hoping for her father to take her from the mountain to the hospital in the city. Piccolo had a different plan. He just needed a car.

It didn't have to be a car he owned long term. Far from it. While the Son household could use a vehicle, the Namekian defender of the Earth had no such need of one. It would have to be _borrowed_ then. Rented. He could rent a car and then take Gohan and Chi-Chi to the hospital. It would be faster if Gohan flew her there, but the woman had already complained about how being held in the air would be a disastrous idea after her water had broke.

Renting still took money though. And going out into the human bustle to find someone to rent from. He had filled his quota for that just by suffering through the drivers institution. Instead, Piccolo ended up watching himself run out of days until he ended up going to Bulma at Capsule Corp.

"Give me a car," he had ordered her and the blue haired genius had broke into a laughing fit.

"A car? Why would you need a car?" she asked through her cackles.

"It's for Chi-Chi-san," Piccolo said, "just give me a damn car. I'll pay you back for it."

Bulma turned her head and looked quizzical.

"Really now. And how exactly are you paying me?" the genius asked. Piccolo shuffled in frustration at the same question he had been asking himself.

"I don't know right now," he admitted, "but I will."

She continued to look scheming, head cocked, until the silence almost made him speak up again.

"Alright, for Chi-Chi's sake," Bulma finally said, "And you can run errands for me for the next few weeks or so, however long it would take to pay back the time you keep the car. Or watch Trunks while I run errands. Gohan seems to adore you so maybe you'd make a good babysitter. Better than his father at least."

Piccolo sneered while inside thought frantically about the idea of being stuck unsupervised with another child. Somehow he doubted Bulma wanted her toddler dumped in a desert to learn the fine skill of wilderness survival. Still, no matter what the genius decided on making him pay his rent back with, he had the stupid car. He hid the thing near the Son house with a rather surprised Gohan's help.

The timing was rather lucky. Piccolo was already at the house two days later when Chi-Chi began what had been described to him as the start to a rather painful birthing cycle. Gohan helped support his mother out of the house while Piccolo drove the car up to them. Chi-Chi stopped dead and stared at the vehicle.

"What is that?" she asked in a tone that managed to sound more like a command for answers than a curious question.

"It's a car mother," Gohan said patiently, "To drive to the hospital in. You said you didn't want us to fly you there."

"Yes, but-" Chi-Chi looked confused, "Since when have you two had a car? None of us have the license to use one."

"It's one of Bulma's many cars, I do have a license, and we need to hurry so get in," Piccolo answered, opening the door so Gohan could help his mother in. "You told us to pull our weight, so we are," he added slowly, before driving the car off the ground and towards the city as smoothly as he could for the sake of the pregnant mother.

The next days were chaotic and Piccolo was happy to see the end of them. Chi-Chi had another son, who she named Goten. Gohan was glued to her side while she was in the hospital and, to Piccolo's uncomfortable misfortune, tried to drag the Namek in many times. Just because his mother was in the hospital with his new younger brother didn't mean Gohan was allowed to forget his studies. The half-saiyan did them obediently in a chair near his mother's bed while she looked on proudly. Piccolo kept the car as long as she was in the hospital so that she could use it as easy transportation back to her home when she was released.

"Piccolo," Chi-Chi stopped him when the three were almost to the car the day she finally left, "Thank you."

The Namek grunted and looked away from her. Straight into the closed eyes of someone he never wanted to see again.

"Oh, Piccolo-san!" his redheaded driving instructor greeted from where she was quickly approaching. What was it with fate and the inability to escape this woman?

"I recognize her!" Gohan said excitedly, "That was your driving teacher, wasn't it?"

Piccolo gave another affirming grunt, this one far less pleased sounding than the one he had offered Chi-Chi seconds before.

Cynthia caught up and rambled about how she was visiting her brother in law who was in the hospital after an accident, how funny it was she had seen his unique green skin, how unlikely and lucky such a meeting was and how she just had to come congratulate him on his car. And more. Piccolo decided he prefered her crazy road rage side to the chatty version she was outside a car.

"So you're the one who gave him his license?" Chi-Chi asked, casting a glance at the redhead, "I didn't even know he had gone to retry after you failed him last year."

"Oh, it's not as if he needs a license," Cynthia patted the Namekians arm, to his displeasure, "Did you know he can fly? It's amazing! Not like those special effects that Cell character used, Piccolo-san can actually fly! Who needs a car when you can do that? I would trade in my license in a heartbeat for flight."

She smiled once more and then moved away at Chi-Chi's continued unimpressed expression. After standing still for another moment to allow their brains to catch up with the unexpected conversation, the three returned to the car and began to drive back up the mountains.

"You didn't need to get a car," the Son family matriarch said softer than her usual volume a few minutes into the drive, "I didn't expect you or Gok-or-I didn't expect you to go back and try again after you were turned down twice. It's not like either of you wanted to get one."

"The circumstances were different," the Namek responded, "There was no pressure from impending android attacks this time. And I was given instructors other than that crazy one this time so passing was no challenge."

The car continued on through the air, far slower than two of its occupants normally flew and far faster than the third occupant walked this road.

"That maniacal woman was right," Chi-Chi sighed, "None of you need an air car or a license."

Gohan and Piccolo shared a glance before the boy turned in his seat to face his mother.

"Yes, but. But you could use one," he said. Chi-Chi was shocked at her son's suggestion, even though it was one she herself had considered. It would require leaving the house, and being around so many _normal_ people and she wasn't used to any of that anymore...

"Well-no-I couldn't possibly-" she stuttered and was silenced by Piccolo's normal stony stare.

"If I could get one, you could," the Namek stated bluntly, "You're able to control the greatest powers alive with your words and attitude. A driving institute won't be any problem at all for you."

Put in that perspective, going in for a test didn't sound so bad.

* * *

I realize the series was inconsistent on Chi-Chi's transportation options. She's seen driving an air car and riding Nimbus at times, and then in the episode this fic was born out of (Goku's Ordeal, a filler from the original dbz) she has to go on foot because the Son household has no air car or anyone with a license. This fic is solely going off of what was seen in that episode.

Thank you for your time!


End file.
